Sooo…
Where are all the posts about why roller derby ISN’T awesome? Sick of looking for advice only to find newbie problems. Where are all the VETS that are sick of the bullshit and tired of the politics that go on? Where are all the women that are tired of being told what their experience should be? Tired of always being told you aren’t working hard enough? Give me a girl that’s been around a year, let alone six. It’s been a long, hard journey. And I hate to give it up on anyone’s terms but my own. But right now, FUCK ROLLER DERBY. I’m not becoming any goddamn Suzy Hotrod any time soon. AND I DON’T WANT TO BE, AND WHY IS THAT NOT OKAY?
Then. There’s the side of me that wants to skip practice tomorrow. And I start thinking about how the new girls are taking their minimum skills tests tomorrow, and how much I have seen them grow over the last few months and would hate to miss seeing them reach this milestone in their own derby career and experience. I want to be there to cheer them on. To see the sigh of relief, the face of “I FINALLY MADE IT!” But, no. Maybe I’ll just take the day off for myself. For my other friends, oh..wait, I don’t have any.
It’s just sad. Sad that voicing your own opinions and standing up for your teammates earns you online slander and the “Hater” trophy (mostly from people who have no clue what’s really going on and are completely irrelevant). Sad that some people turn this “empowering” sport into a fucking demoralizing tirade at the drop of a dime because that’s how they feel and if you don’t like it then fuck you.
Tell me, exactly WHY, roller derby can no longer be FUN while also be competitive? Who made that fucking rule? Sorry. But at the end of the day, this is a HOBBY. I don’t get paid to do this. I PAY to do this. Money, time, energy, heart, blood (fucking literally, there has been blood), sweat, tears the whole goddamn nine yards. So DON’T tell me I don’t love this, live this. Just because I can’t make it my ENTIRE life all the time.
What is there to do when it’s not fun anymore, but the thought of quitting kills you? I LOVE to skate. I just am in love with skating. I love hitting, sweating, and the rare times I get to laugh with these women. But the good times are so rare anymore. I just cant figure it all out. All the drama. All the politics. Everyone is a fucking cunt martyr.
So, please. If anyone can point me in the right direction of some advice, I’d sure fucking appreciate it.
